Friday, June 24, 2005

good day

it's rare to have a table that you actually enjoy.
today i had three.

two of these tables were nothing special. they were just nice people. they were not rude, they did not insist on anything to happen immediatly, and they just had a laid back demenier. and, they actually laughed at my jokes.

every server that has been at it awhile has a stock of humor. the same lines they use over and over. sometimes you get a laugh sometimes a smile, and ocasionally a questioning glance.

my lines are simple.
for example:

when a table has been sitting for an unusally long amount of time chatting after eating, i say, now, you guys can stay as long as you like but i must tell you, we close at midnight. this line only works if it is still several hours until closing time.

it usually gets a laugh and often makes the table aware of how long they have been there and encourages them to move on.

these two tables managed to understand and play along with my brand of humor. they also left me larger than average tips.

the thrid table was one that served to boost my ego.
it was a table of 5. two adults and three children. they were the most polite group i have every had the pleasure of serving.

everything was "thank you ma'am", "yes ma'am", and my favorite, "please".

when the meal was over they complimented me in gushing terms to my manager and left me a 10 dollar tip on a 40 dollar bill.

a table like this makes me not hate serving so very much.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

i am a dork

for many years i have claimed to be an individual. i have claimed that what others think of me does not matter. that i do not wear anything to impress and wear what i wish regardless of the thoughts of other.

this has always been false.

anyone and everyone are affected by others. i have often seen something funny and not bought it because i would look like a dork. it's true, 23 years old and still concerned about the "d" word.

this week i was at hot topic. there was a jacket that i liked. get ready to laugh, it had hogwarts written across the front and the school seal on the back. i thought it was funny and i do love harry potter.

i was about place to jacket back on the rack when i made a realization.

i am now a teacher. teachers are the one profession that are known to be dorks. it's expected.

think back to your childhood. teachers wore goofey ties, strange tee-shirts with literay quotes, those hideous blue jean jumpers with apples or numbers stiched on.

a smile crossed my face. i am now a member of the dork profession.

i bought the jacket. if anyone questions me, the responce is simple. "i am a teacher, deal with it."

Wednesday, June 15, 2005


ah, the joys of a job in food service.

there is a constant stream of horrible and wonderful people that filter through the front doors.

an old man comes in daily and states, not asks, that he always gets a free cup of coffee. he is older and comes in alone and noone has the nerve to tell him that that is not the way a resturant works.

a young boy, about 7 or 8 years old, knows the name of every server and draws us pictures when he comes in.

a woman, a regular, never looks us it in eye. she is above us lowly service industry employees. she insists to be treated as if it were a five star resturant instead of a star-less diner.

the little old lady that occasionally graces us with her presence seems so pleased with herself that she can give us a huge tip. smiling she presses fifty cents into our hands. if we look disapointed at this meger sum it would break her heart, so we smile and thank her politly.

the people who invaribly arrive, expecting full service 15 mins before we close.

these are the people that make my job worth doing. they keep me going back each day. and make me bang my head against the wall every time the hour draws nearer.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

The taming of the beast

bitchy guests

today, walking directly into my section came the most notorious regulars of our resturant. the matron of this angry foursome is never satisified. she has always found a reason to get money taken off her bill.

and today she came to me.

i mustered my strength and made my way to the table.

from the start she complained. she wanted a different table. closer to the window. so we moved.
they ordered something to drink. i delivered the refreshments, to a new volley of complaints. her coke tasted watered down and her husband's coffee was too stronge.

ok, i retrieved a new coke and added a half a cup of hot water to the pitcher of coffee. perfect.

they order, she drops her fork and demands a new one, immendiatly, even though she has nothing to eat yet. i come back to the table replete with a handfull of napkins a new round of refills and, of course, her new fork.

why did you bring us refills. i haven't finished my coke yet?
deep breath, just staying ahead of the game, i say.

food comes. i checked and doubled checked before taking it to the table. i had extras of everything on the tray. nothing is missing.
i need mustard. i pull a bottle from my apron.
i need extra tarter sauce. i have some on the tray.
more crackers. more in the apron.
she looks carefully at everything. peers with those menecing eyes at her children's plates.
anything else i can get you?
she smiles. the wicked witch cracked her smoked stained, sun damaged face into a toothless grin. i think we're good.

as it turned, they left, paying the entire bill and leaving me a 7 dollar tip, which, in my establishment is quite the compliment.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005


there has been a delay in my posting.

due to situations beyond my control i lost my internet access. allow me to explain the use of the word "my".

i recently purchased a new computer. a nice apple ibook. when i arrived at my home and started it up i found that it was picking up a wireless service in the area. some very generous soul in my building provided me with internet for well over a month.

now, i am moving to a far away land in less than two months and since i had no need to use my old dial-up i cancled my phone and my old service plan.

then, last week, this generous, wonderful, charitable soul installed password protection on their wireless.
i was left with nothing. no way to check my email, look up movie times, search for random news stories, surf with a goal, and write here. my life became boring and fruitless. no fruit for me.

a day or two later i found myself at wits end. i would turn on my computer almost without thinking and try to play. the, with much dispair, turn it off moments later. i laid on my floor staring at my computer. cold sweats. shaking.

i have found, through this experience that i am an addict. i am addicted to the net. to my computer. to technology.

while waiting for new cable service to be installed i went to the nearest best buy mulitple times. i looked at every gadget, doodad, and shiny equiptment in the store. i thought about getting another credit card to buy many smooth plactic or metal gizmos.

night sweats. shortness of breath.

are there therapy sessions for this type of addiction?
my name is jody and i am an addict.

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