The Here and Now

there has been a delay in my posting.

due to situations beyond my control i lost my internet access. allow me to explain the use of the word "my".

i recently purchased a new computer. a nice apple ibook. when i arrived at my home and started it up i found that it was picking up a wireless service in the area. some very generous soul in my building provided me with internet for well over a month.

now, i am moving to a far away land in less than two months and since i had no need to use my old dial-up i cancled my phone and my old service plan.

then, last week, this generous, wonderful, charitable soul installed password protection on their wireless.
i was left with nothing. no way to check my email, look up movie times, search for random news stories, surf with a goal, and write here. my life became boring and fruitless. no fruit for me.

a day or two later i found myself at wits end. i would turn on my computer almost without thinking and try to play. the, with much dispair, turn it off moments later. i laid on my floor staring at my computer. cold sweats. shaking.

i have found, through this experience that i am an addict. i am addicted to the net. to my computer. to technology.

while waiting for new cable service to be installed i went to the nearest best buy mulitple times. i looked at every gadget, doodad, and shiny equiptment in the store. i thought about getting another credit card to buy many smooth plactic or metal gizmos.

night sweats. shortness of breath.

are there therapy sessions for this type of addiction?
my name is jody and i am an addict.