Thursday, December 18, 2008


Today I played with super glue.

I did my very best to keep the glue off my fingers and only on the proper sides of said project. However, between a combination of the tiny size of the project in question and my extreme lack of fine motor coordination, I ended up with quite a coating on nearly every digit.

I also managed to glue myself to my jeans, to a glass of water, and for a few brief frightening moments to my computers space bar.

Now, a thick film of glue, though not something exciting and fun on a normal day, is not really worth thinking too much about. Certainly nothing that would warrant a written account.

However, I find that a silly story such as this is a testament to my “ability” to function as a normal human. Plus my glue-y dilemma did not quite end there.

My place of employment uses a fingerprint scanner to clock in and out for work.

Can you see where I am going with this.

I was running a bit late for work this afternoon (due to an unscheduled amount of time in the bathroom spend hand washing), and ran from the house with bits of super-ness still clinging to my fingers.

I reached the sign-er in-er and pressed my finger to this high tech time punch.
I moved my finger to a more readable position.
I scrapped at my finger.
I threatened the wall mounted scanner of doom menacingly.
I cursed.

I tried one more time with gusto and optimism.

I, it seems, do not exist.

I ran off with fingers crossed (and very nearly stuck that way) without clocking. I can only hope that today is not the day they check the records to dock pay. I would hate to have to explain myself.

Thursday, December 04, 2008


I mentioned that my work computer was infected with a deadly case of Korean. It has caused much pain and suffering over the span of a few weeks.

I have tried everything short of hitting the damned thing with a baseball bat to effectively do my work. The baseball bat is begining to look more appealing every moment.

But, the work must get done. I have bothered my coworkers (those for whom Korean is a native tongue), guessed, and clicked randomly with fingers crossed. Some things have been wildly effective. Others, not so much.

Tonight, I decided to be pro-active. I hopped onto Babel Fish, ready to translate the necessary key terms. I was going to get some work done if it killed me.

I typed the Korean words as accuratly as possible.
This was the result.

Where the hell is that bat?

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