Sunday, June 12, 2005

The taming of the beast

bitchy guests

today, walking directly into my section came the most notorious regulars of our resturant. the matron of this angry foursome is never satisified. she has always found a reason to get money taken off her bill.

and today she came to me.

i mustered my strength and made my way to the table.

from the start she complained. she wanted a different table. closer to the window. so we moved.
they ordered something to drink. i delivered the refreshments, to a new volley of complaints. her coke tasted watered down and her husband's coffee was too stronge.

ok, i retrieved a new coke and added a half a cup of hot water to the pitcher of coffee. perfect.

they order, she drops her fork and demands a new one, immendiatly, even though she has nothing to eat yet. i come back to the table replete with a handfull of napkins a new round of refills and, of course, her new fork.

why did you bring us refills. i haven't finished my coke yet?
deep breath, just staying ahead of the game, i say.

food comes. i checked and doubled checked before taking it to the table. i had extras of everything on the tray. nothing is missing.
i need mustard. i pull a bottle from my apron.
i need extra tarter sauce. i have some on the tray.
more crackers. more in the apron.
she looks carefully at everything. peers with those menecing eyes at her children's plates.
anything else i can get you?
she smiles. the wicked witch cracked her smoked stained, sun damaged face into a toothless grin. i think we're good.

as it turned, they left, paying the entire bill and leaving me a 7 dollar tip, which, in my establishment is quite the compliment.

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