The Here and Now

A day or two ago I loaded up my car to head out on the highway.
Starting at 11:00 at night, I made my way down to south Florida. My 15 hour way.

During this arduous journey I learned several things.

1.
I will never again drive during daylight hours. I have always attempted to start long journeys at the crack of dawn, or at least at the crack of noon, thinking that night driving is a foolish thing. That daylight makes the journey easier and possibly faster.
That thought process is completely incorrect.
There is no traffic in the wee hours. I drove strait though Atlanta without hitting the congestion and maniacal drivers that that city is so known for.
Plus, instead of growing tired as the sun was setting, I was actually perking up after 10 hours when the sun began peaking over the horizon.

2.
Truckers are effing nuts. Once the sun sets and the bars close truckers take over the road. They own stretches of pavement. You cannot compete. You should not even try.
But you can moon them while driving 80 miles per hour. It makes things interesting.

3.
Each state smells different. I can’t explain this one. It’s just true.

4.
It doesn’t matter where in the country you are, if you are searching the radio you will only find bad country music and fuzzy talk radio.
Every now and then I thought I hit pay dirt with something more in the rock or alternative genre. But as soon as the promising song ended the radio either lost signal or the following tune was whiney country focusing on Jesus (and a dead dog, of course).

5.
I like kittens*.

6.
My car has terrible gas mileage. The kind that requires many stops at many gas stations. Which is fun when you make up games like “Count the teeth on the Redneck” while cruising through some areas of the south.

7.
I can go 3/4ths of a tank of gas between pee breaks. My bladder is hard-core.

8.
After driving for 15 hours strait, the prospect of a mere 14-hour plane drive sounds positively wondrous.


Now I am in the hot and humid sunny South Florida. Beaches not too far away and a pool right outside the backdoor.
I have yet to actually see either of them having been too busy napping and shopping.
Such a tough life I lead…


* The kitten thing is a total lie. I just wanted to work those fluffy little devil balls in somewhere.