The Here and Now

Much has happened over the past few days.
I had my soul eaten by mosquitoes.
I almost beat a small child with a shovel.
I rode on a bus for many hours.
I joined a biker gang.
And was almost robbed by a cross dressing crack head.

It’s been an interesting few days.

Let me explain.

1.
The mosquitoes in Cambodia are the things of legends. I have lived in locations with big and plentiful mossis. I have feigned off their fiendish attacks.
I have suffered the ichy-ness.
But never have I seen one with such veracity.

My ankles are covered with the scars of their presence. Huge welts. Much ouchy itches.

2.
There are people in many of the touristy places that attempt to sell you things. Everything from tee shirts to waters, pineapple to bracelets. They shout, they beg, the follow, hopping you will succumb to their words and purchase something.
Maybe a guidebook.
Or a silk bed sheet.
Or a wooden frog.

Sometimes they pimp out their children to do their selling for them. Tiny kids, as young as 5 chasing after you.
“Madam buy a postcard.”
“Only 100 baht!”
“Madam, ok 4 for 500 baht!”
“Buy something!”

One little child came after us . Chasing and begging and not leaving.
We would say “no” and he would continue.
We would shake our heads and he would keep staring.

He followed us for at least 10 minutes, begging and pleading, attempting the same old sale.

We finally lost him, just before the amputee band starting playing.

3.
Eventually it came time to say goodbye to Cambodia. All children and bugs aside I really liked that country. The people were very nice and the landscape was beautiful. Our guest house treated us like royalty.
But one morning the bus came to take us away.

A crowded hot and sweaty bus that took us through the country side.
Across the largely potholed roads.
Past the rice patties and landmines.

For 5 bloody hours.

Then there was a new bus at the boarder, slightly less hot and a bit less crowded.
This one lasted another 5 hours.

When we arrived in Bangkok we were overjoyed at the aspect of having an entire hour and a half all to ourselves before boarding yet another bus headed south.
We ate Pad Thai form the street venders and drank a tasty few beers.

This bus was the best bus of all. It was a double decker with excellent AC (too much even) and a movie for our viewing pleasure.
It was a mere 9 hour ride.

Upon reaching the ocean we were ushered off the bus, we cheered as it drove away, signaling our very last long bus ride.
We were at the beach.

And waiting for the boat.

We boarded a fast boat to the islands.

The ocean is beautiful. Crystal clear. Blue. Shiny.
Pockmarked with islands with palm trees and beaches.

4 hours later we were at our destination. With sunburned hands and feet. (The only bits of me that we exposed to the harsh southern sun.)

We are now on Ko Saumui, an island on the eastern side of southern Thailand.

4.
Think leather chaps and bandanas.
Think hard ass nicknames like “Tiny” and “Butch.”
Think the complete opposite.
Now you have a picture of our biker gang.

We rented motorbikes to tool around the island.
Coordination be damned.

After a few frightening moments involving the exit of the parking lot, we started to get the hang of it.
At least until I ran out of gas.

But once I was refueled, we became rode warriors.

(Don’t worry mom, we maintained a speed far lower than the limit, hovering just above that of the common snail. Plus we were wearing shiny silver helmets.)

5.
Ah, the crossing dressing crack head.
How to begin this tale.
I suppose the only way to start is to begin at bed time.

Sometimes I don’t like pants.
Sometimes I prefer sleeping in just my undies and bra.
And after nearly a month of traveling, my friend and I are comfortable enough to lounge around in only our skivvies.
Sometimes I am lucky if she is even wearing hers.

So we slept.
Until around 5 in the morning.

When something nudged at my subconscious.

Something tickled my thoughts.

I rolled over and opened my bleary eyes to see that there was someone in my room. Someone hunched over my backpack, looking inside.
I jumped up, toes tangled in the bedsheets.

“Hey…. Uh… chick!” I yelled as I threw myself out of bed.

And began chasing her out the door and through the courtyard.
Until I realized that I was dressed only in my undies.

Luckily I had awoken early enough to prevent any thievery.

We found out the next morning that it was less likely that it was a female in our room, and more likely that it was a “Lady boy.”

It has been an interesting few days.