Thursday, March 15, 2007


There is a problem with the dryness that goes far beyond the normal static-y shock-y-ness. This problem lies near and dear to my head.
The problem that is currently causing my current despondency is serious split-ends.

I mean major split-ends.

The kind that can rear up and eat your soul.

The kind that makes my head look something akin to a giant furry bunny on speed.

A few moments ago I was rubbing my eyebrow and one of the little hairs fell out. Nothing too exciting. Nothing note worthy.
Certainly nothing to write about
Until I looked a bit closer.

Something about the hair made me take pause.
Something made me stare a little harder.

It had a freaking split-end!

My eyebrow had a freaking split-end!

How the bloody hell?

Should I start conditioning my forehead?

I heard that Whale Blubber is great for split ends. You have to boil it down until it is concentrated like lard. It's also good for mosquitoes. That season is coming soon. I hear they use baseball bats instead of swatters up there. But, you have to look out for Polar Bears, they like it, too. It's also a good propalactic, but I'll save that for another day! Who knew whales had so many uses. oxoxo UM
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