Sunday, March 04, 2007

An eye for an eye

By popular demand I am here to tell “The story of my eye.”

Ok, it wasn’t really popular demand, more the request of one person. But we are going to consider it popular demand. It’s my page. I can do whatever I want.
So, here goes the fairly short and quite uninteresting story of the slight suffering and mild pain.

About three weeks ago I was diagnosed with some sort of eye infection. At this point I am not sure what exactly I had. There have been several different theories. The ideas range from pinkeye to African trypanosomiasis.
I prefer the latter. It would explain my constant want for a nap.
And it’s always cooler to have a malady that you cannot pronounce.

Alas, it seemed that my illness would soon be over. I was prescribed a little bottle of antibiotic drops and given the instructions to keep on dripping away until two days after the symptoms disappear.
The next day brought relief, the ichy swollen grossness was on its way out, promising a life-time of shiny happy eyes.

But, due to the fact that I have rarely experienced the normal course of any illness, something had to go wrong. In this case it was an allergic reaction to the drops. A gradual reaction that slowly made my already raw eyes more and more ichy and painful and, well, a deep shade of scarlet.

So gradual that I didn’t realize that it was, in fact, an allergic reaction. I figured I was just taking my bloody time in the healing process. The whole “darker before dawn” premise of medicine.

10 days of drops later my eyes had morphed into crusty painful holes of sensitivity.
Five minutes and an internet search later I figured everything out. There are several side effects to my meds, plus a high incidence of allergic reactions.
I am stupid.

So I went off the drops. And to my surprise, instead of everything clearing up, it just got worse.
Except instead of the eyeball being sick, it was the area around my eye. Swollen and huge eye-lid. Discolored and gross.

I told the kids I was punched in the face by a polar bear.

At this point everyone, including my principal was urging me to make a trip to Anchorage. Get everything checked out.

So, do I take this advice?
Do I for to the big city for a few nights on the town.
And a doctors’ appointment, of course.

Oh no, I make one last ditch effort at the “clinic’ here.
She prescribed me steroids. That, along with making my heart race 1000 miles an hour and my hands shake like I was the camera man for the Blair Witch Project, made my eye all better.

I am now back to a clear eye-ed health and am looking forward to a few injury free weeks.
Knock on wood.

Thank you. Now I feel my life is somehow now more complete than it once was and it is all due to the completion of your story. How on earth do you get an African Eye Disease in the middle of the Artic? Damn monkey's and their mutaba.
I am glad that cliff hanger is over, I know you were all on pins and needles waiting for this part of the story!

And, Nicole, I am glad to know that I do, in fact, complete you.
Um...who don't you complete? Great story!
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