Sunday, February 25, 2007

Microwave Only

Something wonderful happened!
It is spectacular!
It is a bushel of giddiness!

I may have mentioned here and there that I have a habit of not cooking. The only cooking that I actually do is the kind that requires no more preparation than opening a bag. Sometimes I go as far as punching buttons on a microwave.
That’s only when I’m feeling particularly adventurous.

Mostly I eat things like crackers.
Or salsa.
Or cookies.

It is a good life. My stove doubles as a shelf.

Somehow with this regiment of lazy eating I have actually lost a little something around the middle.

Today, after stopping to pull my pants from below the arse crack for the thousandth time, I took a closer look at my belt.
My shiny red star-adorned belt was on its tightest loophole. And it was still too lose!

One of numerous and trusty knives was used to drill an extra hole in my belt. Tightening it just a little farther.

If this weight loss thing continues I might just have to write a book about how the key to losing the poundage is laziness and apathy.
My two favorite things.

Don't be pulling a Linsday Lohan!
You need to eat, girl!!!
You don't want to end up looking like Skelator, or Nicole Richie ,do ya?

Hey, ya run out of belt holes, do what I recently did; buy some suspenders. It's sort of liberating. Like going braless. Your pants just hang there with no restrictions. I have to look down every once in a while to be sure I am still decent! UM
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Site Meter