Monday, February 26, 2007

Buying stock in Band-Aids!

Self injury.

I can go weeks without a bruise.
Or cut.
Or near fatal injury.

And then I go weeks with nothing but.
This week alone I have:
-Acquired a large purplish and black bruise on my right thigh from a chance meeting between my thigh and the corner of a stray desk.
-Sliced my index finger open while cutting toasted tortillas.
-Burned a pretty little design on my arm with an oven rack during my only real cooking attempt of this semester.
-Stabbed my palm while absently playing tossing games with a pen knife.
-Received a series of paper cuts from a stack of origami sheets.
-And, of course, sliced my knee (not to mention my favorite jeans) on a particularly slippery and sharp patch of ice.

Oh, I forgot to mention the two raw hangnails and the scab on my calf that I had scratched off causing more bleeding than a person should have from a two-week old bug bite.

Then there is the matter of my eye. It’s swollen and gross looking. That, however, is a vastly different story.

Bring on the fun.
Bring on the pain.

That is no fair. If you are going to talk about the eye you need to tell why it is gross looking. I NEED to know that story too...
I will tell the story of my eye, but first ti must come to its conclusion.
I don't think a crusty red eye deserves a two-parter.
An insurance policy on you would be a better bet than the lottery!
Oh, the Mega Millions is $267,000,000 today. What could I do? UM
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