Monday, January 29, 2007

What happened to the Bite marks...

“Alright class, can I have everyone pull out their homework from yesterday?” I said in my loud teacher voice.

There was the general rustling of papers, unzipping of binders, and grumbling by those that still seem surprised everyday when I collect the homework sheets.

A hand flew into the air.

“I don’t have my homework!” A very frazzled looking young girl squeaked quickly.

“Ok. Can you get it?”

“No!” she shook her head.

She’s one of those, obsess about homework, every problem always done, not understanding instructions is cause for a melt down, kinda kids.

Her face is flushed, eyes pried wide. Clearly on the verge of a freak out.

“Where is it then?”

“I caught it on fire!”

I gave her a quizzical look.

“I didn’t mean too! I put it on the stove when I was done with the problems. But my mom had left the stove on.
But I didn’t know that! I swear.
And then I went to watch TV. Cause I am allowed to watch TV after I get my homework done. And my mom was not home but she’s the one that left the stove on.
And then I smelled smoke! And I was scared and I ran to the kitchen and my homework was on fire.
And I got the, um, you know that red metal thing that puts out fires?” She managed to say this all in one, very anxious, breath.

“Fire extinguisher?” A fellow student assisted.

“Yeah, and I took that and put out the fire. And then my mom came home and I am grounded for two weeks.
But I swear! I did my homework.”
She looked close to tears.

“Ok, not a problem, I have an extra sheet you can follow along on.”

“You can see where my hair was burned in the fire if you don’t believe me!” She held up a shorter section of her hair, one that almost looked like it could have singed in a terrible homework burning accident.

This is much better than the dog excuse.

Hey, don't knock the dog excuse!! I still use that one. My new cat knocks misc stuff on the floor and the dog tears it up. Most recently, the long multi-colored feather duster. I came home and the floor in the living room was completely covered in red,yellow, and green feathers. The wooden shaft had been stripped clean and the dog had feathers in his mouth. I had fun with that one!! UM
I still like the "had-an-abortion-yesterday" excuse for not doing homework.
It's worked for me twice!
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