Wednesday, January 17, 2007


I have a little girl in my class. She is sweet as pie. One of those kids that make you happy to be a teacher.
Unlike my gaggle of miscreants that make me want to stab myself in the eye for even considering such a profession.

So, anyway.
One of my happy little students stood before me. Just before I left school for the day.

Let me describe my outfit for a moment.

A pair of blue jeans
A pair of black snow pants
A green polo shirt
A gray wool blazer
A big down-filled green winter parka with coyote fur ruff
My little red shoes.

I swear there is a point that.

My student is one of the younger ones. She still holds onto the elementary mentality that hugging and leaning and pawing on your teacher is just peachy keen.

It drives me bloody bonkers.

Today she just stood in front of me playing with my blazer while I finished a conversation with another teacher.

My blazer was twisted around my body, tucked into snow pants, and covered by a huge coat and a heavy backpack.
This little sweetheart took no-never mind to these facts. She had her heart set on buttoning every button of the blazer.

She got the middle one done with only a little effort.
The second one is where she came to a problem.

“Ms. Mac,” she said, try to get my attention.
“Just a second.” I said distractedly, still engaged in a conversation, ignoring completely the child hanging on my shirt.

“Ms. Mac!” She insisted.

“What?” I responded with some hint of irritation.

“I know why your coat won’t button!”

“Why is that?”

“Because your boobs are too big!”

There are no words. No way to properly respond to such an explanation.
I just stared, searching my mind for an acceptable answer.

The teacher I was talking with stared as well.
Before she started laughing. Cackling, Howling.
Getting in some good giggles at my expense.

The student took off running. Off to her friends.
Her older friends, to ask why we laughed when she commented on my boobs.

I now have half the 7ths grade girls making comments about my huge honkers every time I pass them in the hall.
What a good day.

Just so you know from the last time i saw you they didn't look that big and i have picture to prove it!
At least all your students will always remember you.
Dan, maybe they have grown since you saw them. And I am slightly concered about this picture thing...

Or maybe they are just significant when compared to the Inupiat breasts around me.
well, she's right! and lots of girls would love to have young men pointing out their boobies, you should be grateful ;)
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