Sunday, December 17, 2006

How Many Hours Can You Play in the Airport?

Due to technical difficulties I am forced to post all my recent adventures in list form.

Observation from Barrow.

1. The gentlemen from Pruhdoe Bay are drunks. Well, maybe not drunks but after 3-5 weeks in a dry oil plant without the company of any women they tend to get a bit over excited about booze
And boobies.

2. Planes are stupid.

3. A 3 hour flight can easily take over 5 hours if you spend enough time sitting on the ground.

Observations from Anchorage.

4. 29 hours in Anchorage due to delays, cancellations, and incompetence.

5. My ass is numb from all the sitting.

6. I have met many interesting and strange people. I even got cookies from the desk agents. And I do love cookies.

Observations from Houston.

7. It’s fairly hot in the airport and I am not dressed for anything above 5 degrees.

8. This is the first time I have really seen the sun in about 3 weeks. It’s brighter than I remembered. I am going to have to buy sunglasses. Soon.

9. All the over-head announcements are made in both English and Spanish. But I have yet to hear an actual person speak Spanish.

Observations from a plane.

10. I can pass out anywhere and everywhere. In a matter of moments. (I don’t even remember taking off on this flight, I was fully unconscious within 8 minutes of boarding the plane, only waking up when I was hit in the elbow with the drink cart.
11. I remember a time when flight attendants had to be under a specific weight. I miss those days. Every time our stewardess walks past her rather large thighs slams into my shoulder.

12. Babies suck.

I think next time I travel it will be in a much more reasonable fashion. Like dog-sledding, po-go-sticking, or walking on hot coals with little bitty shards of glass mixed in.
It would be much less stressful.
And possibly faster.

you have really captured the essence of air travel!!!mom
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