Thursday, November 30, 2006

How to get fired without even trying

Most of my students are angels.
Most of my students are wonderful little people with kind, if not goofy, hearts.

However, in every class you have a student or two that cause your hair to turn an unattractive shade of gray.

I am naming my silver roots after one particular little bundle of joy.

He rarely comes to school, which is why my sanity is still intact. According to my ever-accurate grade book, he has graced my presence a mere 12 times.

Each time he left the school, suspended for one infraction or another.

Lighting lighters, pulling knives, calling me a M***** F*****, throwing scissors, you know, the usual.

Today he came to school and was actually very subdued. He behaved. He didn’t even curse at me.
I thought for a moment that he had turned over a new leaf, realizing that education is important.
That, or the knowledge his parents being forced to court regarding his truancy.

I have a rule in class.
If you don’t at least make an attempt to keep your head off the desk and follow along with the material, you don’t go to PE. This is not a very difficult rule to follow.

In fact, most kids manage to follow this rule with little to no effort.
Bob (not his real name) found this rule to be too difficult. He crumpled the quiz, made paper airplanes of the homework, and drew testicles and a penis on a cartoon bunny on the class work.

So, he stayed in for PE.

There was no argument. He just stared at me and shrugged.

At this point I was still counting it as a red-letter day.

Until I made the dire mistake of stepping out into the hallway to speak with a fellow teacher.
I was out of line of sight for all of 2 mins.

Just enough time for Bob to open the window climb up on the bookshelf and jump the fifteen feet to freedom.

I didn’t see him go, but his foot prints in the snow and the hole where he landed told the tale.

He escaped.

I am so getting fired.

Oh, so you're a Mother now, with kids and all. Next time you are back in the lower 48 you can get your tubes tied. Ever thought of that? On one of your bad days??? Somewhere in your last few postings you mentioned BEER. Warsteiner Dunkel is my favorite. Alaska has a great one. Alaskan Amber Ale voted best in the Nation in 86. I assume that, that was 1986. Try it; you will like it. UM
Yea UA Fairbanks! Won the Ncaa Rifle Championships. A woman it's best shooter! UM
3 things:
Whoa... where did this kid come from?

AK Amber is Delicious! My all-time favorite (actually the only beer I like)

UAF has a track record for winning the NCAA Rifle Championships... most have been women... cool eh?
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