Monday, April 10, 2006

Luke, I am your teacher

Sometimes, at the end of a long day, I sit down and think to myself, “do I really get paid for this?” Those are the days when the angels truly are and the lessons go thru as planned.
The days when things were fun and laughter fills the air.
The days that you know someone learned something.

Other times, at the end of a long day, I sit down, head in my hands and think to myself, “do I get paid enough for this?” These are the days that all the little demons in my care run amuck and lesson plans crumble before me.
The days that insults and groans echo around me,
The days when learning takes a backseat to behavior management.

Guess what kind of day today was.

There were giggles in all the wrong places.
There were comments like “so cheap” and “so boring.”
There was even the all so exciting distracting and irritating shuffle of notes from one child to the next. Followed by more giggling.

As the munchkins thwarted the rules and my rulings all around me, I stared longingly at the clock, attempting in vain to bring forth my inner Jedi and move the hands of the clock.
Use the force.

Maybe the force could be used to string them all up by their shoelaces…

Suddenly, through my intense powers of concentration, the misbehaving misfits slowly leave the floor. A hush fills the room as they float farther and farther from the safety and security of the earth.

“Muh hahahaha!” I cackle. “You defy me and you will defy gravity!”

Pleads and pledges of perfect performances fill the air that was once so full of malicious giggling. The guilty, gravity free angels begin moving toward an open window. Cruel winds outside threaten to take them outwards, upwards, into the clouds.

Those not affected by sudden levitation knew how to keep contact with the earth and quickly began to work on the assigned work. Their noses pressed firmly against the grindstone.

My free flying students searched the room for something to save them as I laughed manically.
They slipped out into the torrential winds just as:


An eraser hits me in the forehead.


See, when I have Star-Wars-related student punishment fantasies, they generally involve the Vader Mind Choke Grip.
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