Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Cuff Me Now

Every spring teachers across the country give a collective groan of displeasure.
They see it coming.
They are aware of the pain that spring can bring.

What is it they fear?

State Testing.

Each spring the highly regimented, strictly monitored, and wholly boring State Tests arrive at schools all over the country.
These tests measure the progression of student learning, are the basis of how money is distributed to schools, determine the reputation of a school and it’s staff for the upcoming year, and are totally reliant on the ability of a student to perform will on standardized torture.

The group of angels I was given to proctor was made up of the office dwellers.
(By that I mean that any given day you are bound to find at least one of them heading toward or already in the principal’s office.)

At one point, early on, the short and wiry runabouts decided to use the library (our testing location of the day) phone to prank call other classrooms. I took the phone away.

And turned my back. To assist a student struggling with actual test questions.

Quickly, the phone was back off the cradle. The child in question was making another call.
I unplugged the handle of the phone and stuffed it into my pocket. (Much of the hand set was sticking out making it look like a 1980’s flash back when cell phone were new, shiny, and huge.)

A half an hour goes by.
Stress inducing student stares up at me, he cocks his head: “there is a phone in your pocket.”
Me, staring back: “Yeah there is. Now read.”

To tell the tales of all the twists and turns of today’s events would make for a long and boring post.

I, however, will tell you the end of the story. (which, being totally out of context, will give you a very skewed and far more interesting idea of what occurred.)

I left the school today soon after I filled out a VPO (village police officer) report.

And I am to attend the ASB meeting this evening in case the behavior of that specific student becomes something that needs explaining.

I have told you a story now you have to tell me this one. and it would be more than my pleasure to handcuff you ;)
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