Thursday, February 16, 2006


Students who think they are funny or creative rarely are.

There are those who believe that the greatest joke is to rub with desk with their sweaty little palms so that it makes that o’so hilarious squeaking noise.

Should we mention the excitement that is brought about by the “why” game. (for those of you without a job in the teaching field, children, or younger siblings; the “why” game is simple. Just say “why” after anything that is asked of you.)

Then there is the rip-roaring humor involved in using the word “gay” at every possible interval.

The oldie, but goodie, “say naughty things in a language the teacher does not understand”, is still bringing down the house.

And of course, farting. One can never forget how funny a loud one can be.

These intentional attempts to bring laugher into our hearts does little more than intensify the growing migraine.

And the creativity, o’ the creativity. They have all, at some point, thought themselves novel when the realization strikes that with the simple addition of the letter “T” to my name, they can spell out something funny.
McFarland becomes McFartland.
Hilarity ensues.

However, occasionally the unintended joke emerges and brings a chuckle to an otherwise asprin filled day.
Today I was brought back from the bottle several times.

Today’s lesson; write our vocab words in sentences.

“Mr. Williams is sometimes a FIENDISH man.” (Mr. Williams is, of course, the principal)

“I METAPHOR at school” That almost sounds dirty…

“I saw a TELLTALE on Jody’s lip.” Not sure what that meant…

Today’s lesson: write 26 adjectives describing yourself. One for each letter of the alphabet.
Some of my personal favorites include:

E - evil in Jody’s class
G – gay
H - haten
I – ignoring Jody
O – off task in school
S – skank
U – usviitaqllua (means crazy in Yu’pik)
Z – zipplessnessless

Ah, the joys of teaching…

I'll add a few from the younger age group.

1. Much like rubbing your hands on the desktop, only performed while sitting in a circle on the floor: Rub your hands repeatedly back and forth on the carpet. This will not only make a sound that distracts your neighbors and teacher, but will give you ample opportunity to exclaim, in a show (or class)-stopping finale and to general laughter, "Ouch, it burns!"

2. Find a friend making a snow angel during recess. Fart on his head.

3. Tell your teacher you saw her talking to another teacher. Laugh hysterically.

4. Write another student's name on a piece of furniture, then giggle in the corner while he/she gets questioned. Then cry when the student rightly claims, "It wasn't me, I can't write that nice," and you are subsequently questioned.

5. Peel the wrappers off the class crayons and talk about how they are naked.
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