Friday, January 13, 2006

the 13th

Today is Friday the 13th.
Today is also the day I begin my cross country, 32 hour commute back to Alaska.

A superstitious person might be concerned.
But, I am not much for the superstitions. (While knocking on wood and tossing salt over my shoulder)

My three-week break has finally come to an end.
It has been a good time.

I met with old friends, slept on many couches, and ate some great food.
And, oh, the shopping. I spent hours in the post office shipping off box after box of shopping fun.

But, I have also found that the cliché is true, you can never go back home.
So much has changed. Both in myself and in the friends I left behind.

They all went on changing and growing without me. We took different paths.
The old groups have new members and relationships have sprung up in the most unlikely places.

Maybe three weeks back was too long.
It made me think about all that was different about my life

The regret I feel about going back to Alaska has nothing to do with my job.
I love my job. I love the experiences. I love the world I have found.
But there is a sadness associated with everything I am leaving behind.

It’s odd how different it all feels from the first journey I made up here.
When I left Cincinnati 5 months ago I was facing the unknown. There was the excitement in that. Thoughts of what I would miss were squelched below the world of the new.

This time things are different. I am not filled with the same wonder. I am simply going home.
It was harder to say good-bye to them all.
They asked me when I would be back. I couldn’t say.
I don’t know.

Wow. This is a really depressing post.
On a lighter side, I will be spending the night in the anchorage airport with my partner in crime, Jodie.
There should be much in the way of merriment and alcoholism.
Plus, I will have the opportunity to test the merits of sticky vinyl benches against my findings on random couches.

It will be excellent.

Happy Friday the 13th!

I'm going to boston this weekend, and although it wont be for 3 weeks, I'm sure it will be much like the last time I went back...I just felt like there was no "place" for me there anymore. My friends had moved on, and really, so had I. Boston isn't my home anymore, just a place to go for a weekend or a week. While couch surfing was once something that was normal--a function of being out later than the subway ran, now it will be more like I'm imposing on someone's space...

Ah well, at least there will be a bunch of us in the same boat this weekend...and it will be fun.
You have passed to another experience like most all of us ahead of you. Congratulations. You have arrived at the beginning of the journey (the rest of your life). Enjoy, you earned it.
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