The Here and Now

Right before the first day of school,
The Principal walked into my classroom.
Holding a spray can.

Extra strength air deodorant spray.

"Here, for your classroom."

Is it smelly? Am I smelly? Did I bath today?
Just what is he implying?

Seeing the distressed look on my face, he explained.

The people in this area, they're lactose intolerant.
They tend to have a gas problem.

Now, I am young, and therefore invincible.
The gas of a few teenagers cannot faze me.
I mean, how bad can they be?

I have never heard the word "fart" so many times as I did in my first week as a teacher in the Alaskan bush.
Noises ring out in the hallways.
Class is constantly disturbed by the sound of intolerance.

My first thought ran along the lines of, " well, they are teenagers, they like to talk about bodily functions."
Now, I know better.
They all just fart often.

Genetically, they are not good with dairy and the food our culture has brought them is high in it.

I spray the air cleaner each day.
And the windows stay open.