The Here and Now

And so it has all begun.

Today I woke up as calm and relaxed as I have been for months. Moving to Alaska is something that someone else might do.

It had not yet hit my that this was my move to make.

I put the finishing touches on my suitcases.

I loaded my rental car with my most prized belongings.

Still calm. Still relaxed.

I picked out an outfit for the day.

Cool as a cucumber.

I took a shower.

I was shaking with nerves by the time the water stopped running.

I am moving to Alaska. To the middle of nowhere. To a lack of civilization.
Today.

My head spins at the prospect.

Now, miles about the earth I see the world I have known sitting peacefully below a layer of clouds. The world I am entering stretches ahead.

The now familiar butterflies morph into a knot of snakes.

I know this is the right move to make.
I know that this is a great career move and will assist me in my future goals.
I know that this is the adventure I have been yearning for.

I know that I still feel too young to be a teacher.
It was just yesterday when I was the one sitting in a desk looking toward the teacher to impart their knowledge, or rather, waiting for the bell to ring to save me from the “excitement” of yet another class.
Now I am the one to stand at the blackboard and make futile attempts to keep everyone awake and interested.